I've posted in a private discussion forum, on Craig's List, about my experience with fibroid tumors and the surgery I underwent in 2005 to remove them. The responses I received tell me I need to post this information in a place more readily accessible, so it won't get buried after a few weeks.
I worked very hard at the time to research Fibroids, their physical and emotional symptoms, and various treatment options. If what I learned can help other women, then this space will be well-spent:
Any kind of change in your cycle as noticeable as follows calls for a gyno visit:
How old are you? Any spotting between periods?
When I had fibroids, particularly one that broke through my uterine wall, my periods were heavier and lasted 10 days, with spotting in between.
I experienced RAGE and feelings of clinical depression. When I got my period, the hormone spikes would KNOCK ME ON MY ASS. At times I got so spazzed out and hyper-stimulated, speedy-feeling, I felt like I would have a heart attack. I was lashing out at people twice my size, but I did not care.
Like that one day when this big oaf of a guy insisted on pushing his way into my subway car before I could get out: I'm sure he has no idea what a miracle it was that I did not stab him through the heart with my umbrella.
I asked my general practitioner and my surgeon about hormones and their effect on my emotions and sense of well-being. They pretty much threw up their hands...but not first without offering to put me on The Pill. When in doubt, write a script. No one could explain to me why the hormones were affecting me or even how the hormones worked. The literature said that hormonal tests were not reliable because hormones can fluctuate so much during the course of a woman's menstrual cycle.
Thanks for nothing, assholes!
Well, almost nothing. Once I got SURGERY -- not therapy, not anti-depressants, not prescription hormones, just straight up surgery to remove the offending fibroid -- my hormones went back to normal and the insane mood rushes and RAGE disappeared.
Poof! Happy again.
It blew my mind to see how a treatment that was purely physical (surgery) could have such a dramatic effect on my emotional state.
Now, I'm 44, back to totally normal 5-day cycles, and happy as a lark. Go figure.
Fibroid tumors are very common in women aged 30-55. If you have some combination of the symptoms described above or notice any change in your normal menstrual cycle, get it checked, poopsie.
http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/forums/?ID=88017269
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Gitchyer Scalpel the Hell Off My Uterus: Alternatives to Hysterectomy
Oh HELL YES, I Kept My Uterus! And it should not be exceptional. Until recently, however, doctors would routinely remove uteruses, reckoning that once a woman had had children, the uterus was merely occupying space -- useful only to the odd roving cancer, seeking a place to take hold.
That's right ladies, according to traditional practitioners of patriarchal medical science, once your uterus stops making babies, it becomes either excess baggage or a ticking time bomb -- regardless of your family history or personal risk of developing cancer.
PHUQUE THOSE A-HOLES!
As soon as I was diagnosed with fibroids, I researched the hell out of treatments for it, and I learned that there are several techniques for removing fibroids that leave your uterus and ovaries intact.
I had a vaginal myomectomy. That is, the gynecological surgeon went in through the vagina and dilated my cervix to gain access to the inside of my uterus and removed the offending fibroid from there. The surgery was performed under general (maaaan, that was sweet -- pure oxygen ROCKS), and I went home the same day.
This is a COMMON procedure. I got a surgeon who had performed MANY of these surgeries, so she was very experienced with it.
There is also a procedure where they go in, surgically, through a small incision in your abdomen. Also a common and uncomplicated procedure.
A couple weeks before surgery I was given a hormone that shrinks the fibroids, making it easier to remove them.
I was hellbent on keeping my reproductive organs and my fertility intact, so *I* could decide whether and when I would have children.
http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/forums/?ID=88019809
That's right ladies, according to traditional practitioners of patriarchal medical science, once your uterus stops making babies, it becomes either excess baggage or a ticking time bomb -- regardless of your family history or personal risk of developing cancer.
PHUQUE THOSE A-HOLES!
As soon as I was diagnosed with fibroids, I researched the hell out of treatments for it, and I learned that there are several techniques for removing fibroids that leave your uterus and ovaries intact.
I had a vaginal myomectomy. That is, the gynecological surgeon went in through the vagina and dilated my cervix to gain access to the inside of my uterus and removed the offending fibroid from there. The surgery was performed under general (maaaan, that was sweet -- pure oxygen ROCKS), and I went home the same day.
This is a COMMON procedure. I got a surgeon who had performed MANY of these surgeries, so she was very experienced with it.
There is also a procedure where they go in, surgically, through a small incision in your abdomen. Also a common and uncomplicated procedure.
A couple weeks before surgery I was given a hormone that shrinks the fibroids, making it easier to remove them.
I was hellbent on keeping my reproductive organs and my fertility intact, so *I* could decide whether and when I would have children.
http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/forums/?ID=88019809
My Uterus Is Not Excess Baggage, TYVM!
1) My surgery was totally covered under my Health Insurance. (Aetna, at the time.) I had the procedure done at NYU Medical Center by Dr. Maria Betancourt. She was AWESOME.
2) I was extremely proactive about researching fibroids and remedies for them and for their symptoms -- medical, natural/nutritional and surgical treatments.
3) I learned that women who undergo hysterectomy are 300% more likely to develop *heart disease.* That little stat blew my mind right out. You are also more likely to develop problems with controlling urination and other health issues. The uterus is a powerful muscle that helps to keep your other abdominal organs in place. So patriarchal doctors' assumption that the uterus is just excess baggage after child-bearing is HORSE HOCKEY!!!
4) I learned that the state of women's health research and doctors' understanding of women's reproductive organs and of hormones and their roles/effect on our mental and physical health is woefully deficient. So we owe it to ourselves to learn as much as possible about our health, to research issues like crazy, and to ASK QUESTIONS. I was HELL-BENT on keeping my reproductive organs and fertility and not letting anybody cut into me unless they could convince me that it was absolutely necessary and the LEAST INVASIVE METHOD POSSIBLE.
This is why I make a point of posting openly about this stuff. If anyone has any questions, they can ask me about it. The women's movement has made a big difference in improving our health options and forcing more attention and research on women's health, but they still have a looooooooong way to go, and we have to keep the pressure ON.
http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/forums/?ID=88020519
2) I was extremely proactive about researching fibroids and remedies for them and for their symptoms -- medical, natural/nutritional and surgical treatments.
3) I learned that women who undergo hysterectomy are 300% more likely to develop *heart disease.* That little stat blew my mind right out. You are also more likely to develop problems with controlling urination and other health issues. The uterus is a powerful muscle that helps to keep your other abdominal organs in place. So patriarchal doctors' assumption that the uterus is just excess baggage after child-bearing is HORSE HOCKEY!!!
4) I learned that the state of women's health research and doctors' understanding of women's reproductive organs and of hormones and their roles/effect on our mental and physical health is woefully deficient. So we owe it to ourselves to learn as much as possible about our health, to research issues like crazy, and to ASK QUESTIONS. I was HELL-BENT on keeping my reproductive organs and fertility and not letting anybody cut into me unless they could convince me that it was absolutely necessary and the LEAST INVASIVE METHOD POSSIBLE.
This is why I make a point of posting openly about this stuff. If anyone has any questions, they can ask me about it. The women's movement has made a big difference in improving our health options and forcing more attention and research on women's health, but they still have a looooooooong way to go, and we have to keep the pressure ON.
http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/forums/?ID=88020519
Woman = Camel; Fibroid = IUD
Here's my theory on the fibroids ability to trigger hormone-rushes and hormone-caused mood swings...
I think the fibroids, particularly those that embed in the uterus, function the same way an IUD does. And IUD fools your body into thinking it's pregnant. It's very common in pregnancy to get hormone rushes that make your moods swing like crazy.
I read a long time ago that the idea for the IUD traces back to the Bedouin tribes, who would push stones up into the uteruses of female camels to keep them from getting pregnant.
So a fibroid is like a little stone that fools your body into thinking it's pregnant, and your body, thinking it's pregnant, starts producing estrogen out the wazoo and goes hormonally bonkers, resulting in mood swings, from deep depression to intense rage.
Also, having a fibroid embedded in your uterine wall will make you incapable of actually getting pregnant, because it will prevent a fertilized egg from attaching to the inside of your uterus.
I researched fibroids by Googling "Fibroid" or "Fibroid Tumor" or "Fibroid Surgery." Unfortunately, I had my surgery in 2005 and have since gotten a new computer, so I don't have all the web sites I saved.
Before I started spotting between periods -- which is what got me to go to the doctor -- my periods started getting heavier. They were noticeably heavier for about 2 years...and yeah, they got clotty too.
If you're having these would urge you to go to the gyno. Get a "transvaginal ultrasound" and see what it says. If you have fibroids (which are very very common in women 30-55), then do your Google search. There's lots of stuff out there, some of it conflicting, so read as much as you can...and sift out the crap by paternalist doctors (the authoritarian, arrogant a$$holes) and look for woman-centered, woman-positive materials, things that treat you as an individual with dignity and a brain -- not a potential guinea pig who can be drugged up and cut up in the Name of Science.
http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/forums/?ID=88022111
I think the fibroids, particularly those that embed in the uterus, function the same way an IUD does. And IUD fools your body into thinking it's pregnant. It's very common in pregnancy to get hormone rushes that make your moods swing like crazy.
I read a long time ago that the idea for the IUD traces back to the Bedouin tribes, who would push stones up into the uteruses of female camels to keep them from getting pregnant.
So a fibroid is like a little stone that fools your body into thinking it's pregnant, and your body, thinking it's pregnant, starts producing estrogen out the wazoo and goes hormonally bonkers, resulting in mood swings, from deep depression to intense rage.
Also, having a fibroid embedded in your uterine wall will make you incapable of actually getting pregnant, because it will prevent a fertilized egg from attaching to the inside of your uterus.
I researched fibroids by Googling "Fibroid" or "Fibroid Tumor" or "Fibroid Surgery." Unfortunately, I had my surgery in 2005 and have since gotten a new computer, so I don't have all the web sites I saved.
Before I started spotting between periods -- which is what got me to go to the doctor -- my periods started getting heavier. They were noticeably heavier for about 2 years...and yeah, they got clotty too.
If you're having these would urge you to go to the gyno. Get a "transvaginal ultrasound" and see what it says. If you have fibroids (which are very very common in women 30-55), then do your Google search. There's lots of stuff out there, some of it conflicting, so read as much as you can...and sift out the crap by paternalist doctors (the authoritarian, arrogant a$$holes) and look for woman-centered, woman-positive materials, things that treat you as an individual with dignity and a brain -- not a potential guinea pig who can be drugged up and cut up in the Name of Science.
http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/forums/?ID=88022111
I'm Hormonal: Get Over It.
We need to talk more about PMS and hormonal issues -- not as an excuse for bad behavior but to demand that more resources be allocated towards medical research into female cycles and hormones and their effects on women...so that there can be SAFE, non-cancer-causing treatments for hormonal irregularities.
The state of medical understanding about hormones and their function and effects on women is so deficient, it would BLOW YOUR MIND.
As late as the 1990s, doctors were prescribing hormone replacement therapy (HRT) to women to counteract menopause-related symptoms. In one series of studies on HRT, the evidence that HRT CAUSED breast cancer was *so strong,* the researches had to cancel the studies because they could not ethically continue them.
When I was having fibroid-related hormone rushes and spikes, I regulated the swings very effectively by eating soy products (a mild estrogen substitute that *reduced* the effects of estrogen rushes on me and also progesterone cream derived from yams.
The estrogen in pharmaceutical HRT is derived from HORSE PISS. It was named "Premarin."
Get it -- Pre-MARE-in. Unreal what Big Pharm subjects us to. And too many doctors buy into drugs uncritically cuz the sales reps give them gifts and kiss the doctors' butts. It's a real racket, and we've got to protect ourselves from it by arming ourselves with as much knowledge as possible.
http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/forums/?ID=88022797
The state of medical understanding about hormones and their function and effects on women is so deficient, it would BLOW YOUR MIND.
As late as the 1990s, doctors were prescribing hormone replacement therapy (HRT) to women to counteract menopause-related symptoms. In one series of studies on HRT, the evidence that HRT CAUSED breast cancer was *so strong,* the researches had to cancel the studies because they could not ethically continue them.
When I was having fibroid-related hormone rushes and spikes, I regulated the swings very effectively by eating soy products (a mild estrogen substitute that *reduced* the effects of estrogen rushes on me and also progesterone cream derived from yams.
The estrogen in pharmaceutical HRT is derived from HORSE PISS. It was named "Premarin."
Get it -- Pre-MARE-in. Unreal what Big Pharm subjects us to. And too many doctors buy into drugs uncritically cuz the sales reps give them gifts and kiss the doctors' butts. It's a real racket, and we've got to protect ourselves from it by arming ourselves with as much knowledge as possible.
http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/forums/?ID=88022797
Fighting Fibroid Symptoms With Diet & Natural Treatments
In the time leading up to my fibroid removal surgery, I had very little energy. Just a trip shopping or to the Botanic Gardens with mom would leave me very tired and cranky. In the last couple months before surgery, I felt very weak. Just one drink of alcohol would WIPE ME OUT.
I didn't realize how weak and sick I felt until after the surgery, when I went back to feeling normal again. I had totally forgotten what normal felt like.
It creeps up on you over time, so it can really fool you. I was probably anemic and should have been taking an iron supplement to make up for the blood loss.
I did make some changes in my diet and started taking certain vitamins:
Diet change was the "No white carbs diet." Low fat, nothing fried, no sugary sodas, no fruit juice, nothing with high fructose corn syrup.
Lots of fruits and veggies. Dried fruits, preserves, honey and molasses were all fine. No white flour or wheat gluten. Subbed instead with Wasa Bread, rice wafers, brown rice, and that cool German bread that has no wheat gluten in it.
At least one dose of something with soy in it every day -- Soy yogurt, edamame, tofu, etc. That controls estrogen naturally by occupying estrogen receptors in your bod. Fools your body into not producing so much estrogen.
Supplements:
Evening primrose oil
Vitamin E & C (combined in one pill)
Vitamin B Complex
Calcium & Magnesium (combined in one pill)
Flax Seed Oil (Omega 6 & 3)
Should have included an iron supplement.
I'd take them at breakfast, lunch and dinner, which also assured me of getting plenty of hydration.
I also used Progesterone cream (derived from Sweet Potatoes); you can get this at any Health Food Store.
All the above was recommended in a book Susan M. Lark, MD, who specializes in fibroids, endometriosis and other hormonally-related maladies.
I didn't realize how weak and sick I felt until after the surgery, when I went back to feeling normal again. I had totally forgotten what normal felt like.
It creeps up on you over time, so it can really fool you. I was probably anemic and should have been taking an iron supplement to make up for the blood loss.
I did make some changes in my diet and started taking certain vitamins:
Diet change was the "No white carbs diet." Low fat, nothing fried, no sugary sodas, no fruit juice, nothing with high fructose corn syrup.
Lots of fruits and veggies. Dried fruits, preserves, honey and molasses were all fine. No white flour or wheat gluten. Subbed instead with Wasa Bread, rice wafers, brown rice, and that cool German bread that has no wheat gluten in it.
At least one dose of something with soy in it every day -- Soy yogurt, edamame, tofu, etc. That controls estrogen naturally by occupying estrogen receptors in your bod. Fools your body into not producing so much estrogen.
Supplements:
Evening primrose oil
Vitamin E & C (combined in one pill)
Vitamin B Complex
Calcium & Magnesium (combined in one pill)
Flax Seed Oil (Omega 6 & 3)
Should have included an iron supplement.
I'd take them at breakfast, lunch and dinner, which also assured me of getting plenty of hydration.
I also used Progesterone cream (derived from Sweet Potatoes); you can get this at any Health Food Store.
All the above was recommended in a book Susan M. Lark, MD, who specializes in fibroids, endometriosis and other hormonally-related maladies.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Oh yeah, the Giants Won the Super Bowl!
It's February 24th, and I still can't believe the Giants won the Super Bowl. This is also the first time I've updated the blog in 2008, so I officially suck as a blogger. I appreciate the comments and kicks in the ass to update. I've missed you too, and I've really been derelict in doling out epiphanies, especially since I promised them on a Daily Basis. So here's just a little one....
Holy shit, the Giants won the Super Bowl. Their run to Glendale and victory over the 18-0 New England Patriots was the nicest surprise of 2007-2008. We figured, our team is young. Eli hasn't clicked yet. Our Super Bowl is 2-3 years away. Then we played the Patriots in the last game of the season and lost, 38-35, by only three points.
That meant we could beat them. Then we beat Tampa Bay in the first round of the playoffs. That's an improvement over last year right there. Then we beat fucking Dallas and make Terrell Owens cry. Giants fans are like, "Whoa. What the fuck is going on here?" This is also the 9th Road Win in a row.
Next we're playing the Packers, led by that old Geezer, Brett Favre, and we're starting to think, "Hey, you know, we can beat these assholes." In minus-4-degree weather I'm putting my money on the nubile young quarterback from New York, not on the 40+ brittle, beat-up senior citizen from Green Bay.
Apparently, Eli never got the memo that wearing gloves would screw up his ability to pass or drive the ball down the field. He missed the script where he got outplayed, outshown and beat by the grisled veteran, Favre. It was, after all, Brett's last chance to make the Super Bowl. This was supposed to be Brett's Year.
Or not. We beat the Packers. Holy shit we beat the Packers! Really beat them! With Tynes' field goal in overtime. In dramatic fashion. After missing two previous attempts, he boots a frozen football that in those temperatures must have felt like a lead balloon. Tynes' foot was totally black and blue after the game. He booted that bitch!
Wait a minute. What the fuck? We actually BEAT the Packers??? You mean we're going to the...no, wait. No wait.
No way, are you kidding me? The New York Giants are going to the motherfucken Super Bowl. We are not! Holy shit. We are going to the Super Bowl. These Giants are NFC Champs! Holy shit! What the fuck? This wasn't supposed to happen this year. This is great! This is fantastic!
Holy shit!
Against the Patriots, led by Mr. G.Q., Tom Brady. 18-0, on the verge of making history with a Perfect 19-0 Season. In the Giants' corner we have dorky baby brother Eli, with the childlike, aw shucks, Huckleberry Finn face.
Only by this time, I'm thinking, we can win this bitch. We have now had 10 road victories. In the last game of the regular season, we lost to these assholes by only 3 points. That means we can score on em...score high...and we can beat them.
In the playoffs, we beat every team that had beaten us in the regular season. And at the Super Bowl, the Giants would be the visiting team. We can beat these Beantown mother fuckers. 19-0 tee shirts and commemorative magazines my balls! No, no, no. I'm talking eleven consecutive road wins. We can win this.
The game starts, and the Giants D beats the living shit out of Brady. The O hangs onto the ball in the first period for more than ten minutes, breaking a Super Bowl record, and then scores a field goal at the end of the drive. At the time we bitched that it was only a field goal. But we had kept the Patriots from at least 2 driving opportunities, had we gone 3rd and out, and oh yeah, we won the Super Bowl by 3 points. Even though the Pats came out with a touchdown on their drive, that field goal right there won the game.
The difference between this game and the last game was that the Giants D showed up and dealt a brutal relentless beatdown on Brady. They threw him off his rhythm and held him to his lowest score all season. And once again, as he did throughout the playoffs, Eli played mistake-free ball. He didn't give up interceptions. Eli's arm, the one vaunted to be better-than-Peyton's, showed up. To whit, that gorgeous slow motion spiral to Plax in the end zone to win the game. But I've gotten ahead of myself.
The 2nd and 3rd quarters were a chess match. Each team keeping the other from scoring. Then just as the 4th quarter got under way, a couple of friends sitting in the Giants family member section at the Super Bowl, enlisted the aid of one team member's father, in finding a discrete place to release some of the ashes of Bob in Annapolis, a season-ticket holder, fixture at Giants training camp and legend to the members of BigBlueInteractive.com, who had died unexpectedly, early in the season, of complications following back surgery.
As Bob's ashes whirled around the edges of the field, magic started to happen. David Tyree catches his first touch done pass of the season. Brady, that prick, drives down the field and gets another touch down.
Eli has less than 3 minutes to drive down the field and get a touch down. No fucking way. Yeah, right, but thing is, Eli has always had this weird ability to go bonzai in the final 2+ minutes and come back to win games. Our young kid sticks around for the whole game. I look at my brother and say, "He can do this."
We are standing, pacing forwards and backwards in front of the sofa as Eli drives the Giants down the field. We're kind of swaying to and fro like we've just drunk 12 beers, and we're 50th on line for the Porta John.
Then Eli miraculously escapes that sack attempt and launches that crazy pass to Tyree, who with a Patriot hanging off of him, catches the ball with his fucking helmet! What the fuck was that??? And then comes that magnificent 13-yard pass to Plax.
There are still 35 seconds left. I'm not allowed to get happy until we stop Brady on this last campaign. BOOOOOM, Alford slaughters Brady. Well, why shouldn't he be allowed to get a good pop in? Rookies need to learn too. "Here, this is how to clobber a star quarterback. Isn't it fun?"
Patriots go for it on 4th down and blow it. One second left. Ball in Giants' possession. No we haven't won yet. What? What the fuck is Belichek doing? He's shaking Coughlin's hand and running off the field with one second on the clock? One last snap, Eli kneels.
Super Bowl Won. Not only the biggest upset in Super Bowl history, but also the Best Play in Super Bowl History. Best Super Bowl Game ever.
Unfuckingbelievable.
Holy shit, the Giants won the Super Bowl. Their run to Glendale and victory over the 18-0 New England Patriots was the nicest surprise of 2007-2008. We figured, our team is young. Eli hasn't clicked yet. Our Super Bowl is 2-3 years away. Then we played the Patriots in the last game of the season and lost, 38-35, by only three points.
That meant we could beat them. Then we beat Tampa Bay in the first round of the playoffs. That's an improvement over last year right there. Then we beat fucking Dallas and make Terrell Owens cry. Giants fans are like, "Whoa. What the fuck is going on here?" This is also the 9th Road Win in a row.
Next we're playing the Packers, led by that old Geezer, Brett Favre, and we're starting to think, "Hey, you know, we can beat these assholes." In minus-4-degree weather I'm putting my money on the nubile young quarterback from New York, not on the 40+ brittle, beat-up senior citizen from Green Bay.
Apparently, Eli never got the memo that wearing gloves would screw up his ability to pass or drive the ball down the field. He missed the script where he got outplayed, outshown and beat by the grisled veteran, Favre. It was, after all, Brett's last chance to make the Super Bowl. This was supposed to be Brett's Year.
Or not. We beat the Packers. Holy shit we beat the Packers! Really beat them! With Tynes' field goal in overtime. In dramatic fashion. After missing two previous attempts, he boots a frozen football that in those temperatures must have felt like a lead balloon. Tynes' foot was totally black and blue after the game. He booted that bitch!
Wait a minute. What the fuck? We actually BEAT the Packers??? You mean we're going to the...no, wait. No wait.
No way, are you kidding me? The New York Giants are going to the motherfucken Super Bowl. We are not! Holy shit. We are going to the Super Bowl. These Giants are NFC Champs! Holy shit! What the fuck? This wasn't supposed to happen this year. This is great! This is fantastic!
Holy shit!
Against the Patriots, led by Mr. G.Q., Tom Brady. 18-0, on the verge of making history with a Perfect 19-0 Season. In the Giants' corner we have dorky baby brother Eli, with the childlike, aw shucks, Huckleberry Finn face.
Only by this time, I'm thinking, we can win this bitch. We have now had 10 road victories. In the last game of the regular season, we lost to these assholes by only 3 points. That means we can score on em...score high...and we can beat them.
In the playoffs, we beat every team that had beaten us in the regular season. And at the Super Bowl, the Giants would be the visiting team. We can beat these Beantown mother fuckers. 19-0 tee shirts and commemorative magazines my balls! No, no, no. I'm talking eleven consecutive road wins. We can win this.
The game starts, and the Giants D beats the living shit out of Brady. The O hangs onto the ball in the first period for more than ten minutes, breaking a Super Bowl record, and then scores a field goal at the end of the drive. At the time we bitched that it was only a field goal. But we had kept the Patriots from at least 2 driving opportunities, had we gone 3rd and out, and oh yeah, we won the Super Bowl by 3 points. Even though the Pats came out with a touchdown on their drive, that field goal right there won the game.
The difference between this game and the last game was that the Giants D showed up and dealt a brutal relentless beatdown on Brady. They threw him off his rhythm and held him to his lowest score all season. And once again, as he did throughout the playoffs, Eli played mistake-free ball. He didn't give up interceptions. Eli's arm, the one vaunted to be better-than-Peyton's, showed up. To whit, that gorgeous slow motion spiral to Plax in the end zone to win the game. But I've gotten ahead of myself.
The 2nd and 3rd quarters were a chess match. Each team keeping the other from scoring. Then just as the 4th quarter got under way, a couple of friends sitting in the Giants family member section at the Super Bowl, enlisted the aid of one team member's father, in finding a discrete place to release some of the ashes of Bob in Annapolis, a season-ticket holder, fixture at Giants training camp and legend to the members of BigBlueInteractive.com, who had died unexpectedly, early in the season, of complications following back surgery.
As Bob's ashes whirled around the edges of the field, magic started to happen. David Tyree catches his first touch done pass of the season. Brady, that prick, drives down the field and gets another touch down.
Eli has less than 3 minutes to drive down the field and get a touch down. No fucking way. Yeah, right, but thing is, Eli has always had this weird ability to go bonzai in the final 2+ minutes and come back to win games. Our young kid sticks around for the whole game. I look at my brother and say, "He can do this."
We are standing, pacing forwards and backwards in front of the sofa as Eli drives the Giants down the field. We're kind of swaying to and fro like we've just drunk 12 beers, and we're 50th on line for the Porta John.
Then Eli miraculously escapes that sack attempt and launches that crazy pass to Tyree, who with a Patriot hanging off of him, catches the ball with his fucking helmet! What the fuck was that??? And then comes that magnificent 13-yard pass to Plax.
There are still 35 seconds left. I'm not allowed to get happy until we stop Brady on this last campaign. BOOOOOM, Alford slaughters Brady. Well, why shouldn't he be allowed to get a good pop in? Rookies need to learn too. "Here, this is how to clobber a star quarterback. Isn't it fun?"
Patriots go for it on 4th down and blow it. One second left. Ball in Giants' possession. No we haven't won yet. What? What the fuck is Belichek doing? He's shaking Coughlin's hand and running off the field with one second on the clock? One last snap, Eli kneels.
Super Bowl Won. Not only the biggest upset in Super Bowl history, but also the Best Play in Super Bowl History. Best Super Bowl Game ever.
Unfuckingbelievable.
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