Tonight we get a bonus epiphany! At the eleventh hour, before he hit the free agent market, Po Po signed a 4-year $52 million contract with the Yanks! Woo hoo!
Now the Yanks just need to sign to sign my husband, Mariano Rivera. Don't let him get away, Ca$hmoney!
And while you're at it, it's time for Little Steins to stop being a dick and sign my other husband, Alex Rodriguez, you know, the AL MVP, the greatest living player in baseball? So what if Scott Boras is a money grubbing sonofabitch! That's his job.
Alex needs to bust 756, 757 and 800 in the Pinstripes. Hellooooo.
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